These should be taken in the same vein as Roseanne Rosanna Danna and Emily Litella from Saturday Night Live.

The Grumpy Old Curmudgeon wants to know: "Instead of us all wringing our hands in terror of this bird flu, why don't we just work on creating a medicine that will help the birds get well?"

*goes back to watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas*

Alcohol: A Scottish distillery is going to revive a 17th century recipe for 184-proof whiskey.

Wow... Yep, I'd like to try some, though it would have to be a small shot. (g)