July 30th, 2005


"Dirty, Rotten Number"

I am both amused by and disturbed by the song "Dirty, Rotten Number." They've been playing it lately at our local movie theater, and I like it. Each time I hear it, though, I am rememinded of Paul, and it really brings out the character's conflicted feelings about having been a Death-Eater.

The song is about what it's like to be a con artist, knowing when it's time to quit, but also knowing that you loved it. That was pretty much Paul's situation with the DE. Paul did not love being a Death-Eater; he hated it. But some things about it appealed to him. He enjoyed doing very difficult things, he enjoyed thinking on his feet, and I think he also enjoyed the con--though I did not write his handling of it nearly as well as J. K. Rowling wrote Snape's. The way she wrote Snape is, in some ways, the way I should have written Paul but lacked the skill to. And frankly, Paul just does not have the deep well of bitterness to draw from as an aid to acting that Snape does.

I purposely gave Paul these conflicting feelings about the DE because I wanted him to be complex, and I thought it would make him more believable and, I hoped, surprise my readers. The realizations about him surprised me, even though I had been writing toward them all along, just by way of showing Paul's personality to be the way it is. This, despite the fact that, listening to "Dirty, Rotten Number," I keep wanting to ask myself, "Eek! What was I thinking?"

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Quizzage: Heh...Because I like good, dark beer and think American cheese is a disgusting food item:

You Are 64% American
Most times you are proud to be an American.
Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe
Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.
You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

  • Current Music
    "Dirty, Rotten Number"