Aerden (aerden) wrote,

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Let the Rain Come Down - and First Solitary Ritual

It is pouring over here! Lightning, thunder, rain whipping against the windows...I am so glad Mark and I are not out in this.

We spent a lovely Mother's Day at my Grandma and Grandpa Smith's house, eating Honeybaked ham, potato salad, green salad, corn salad, and beets. Dessert was carrot cake--a huge one!--or peach cobbler. I'm stuffed.

After we got home, I started laundry and also did my very first Wiccan ritual using the new altar supplies I've been buying over the past couple of months. So today, I consecrated the altar, the ebony and rosewood wands, and my athame.

It felt wonderful to do this, and I felt the sanctity of the ritual. It became a Mother's Day remembrance ritual for Mark's mother, Joanne, who died in August of 2000. I'm not sure how she would have felt about me doing a Wiccan ritual in her house. When Mark's parents lived here, I didn't do any rituals out of respect for their religious beliefs, as Mark and I were guests in their home. I hope, wherever her spirit is, that she doesn't mind--and I think she wouldn't. I suspect, wherever her spirit resides now, the intent of my ritual was clear to her.

The first year after she died, our family went to visit her gravesite on Mother's Day. Mark's father is now remarried, and with the rain coming down like it is, there's no way we could have gotten to her grave without hip boots. So I wanted to do something. For me, visiting her gravesite was a joyful experience. It was a beautiful day, and her grave is in a beautiful place, so I just went there and loved her and felt no grief at all, just joy. I consider myself very lucky to have been able to experience that.

I am going to ask my high priestess to consecrate my wands at the summer solstice. I'm feeling ambivalent about the new athame. It doesn't feel 'right,' to me. It's heavier than I like, and every time I hold it, I wish I were holding my old athame, the one I can't find because it's in a packing box xomewhere. *sigh* I would much rather use my old one. Plus, I'm beginning to think I really prefer wood to metal, anyway. I like the natural feel of wood, and I also have doubts about the wisdom of me, being legally blind, walking around in a small, darkened, candlelit room containing five other people, with me waving an unsheathed athame about.

Okay, granted, we only use our athames to call the Quarters, when everyone else in the coven stands behind the person who gives the call. Still, it is live steel.

I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps a wand might be safer all around for me to use in coven ritual. My Seth wand--the rosewood one--is small and modest and would function well for coven work, I think. The Paul wand--the ebony one--is longer and heavier, and definitely does have more of an 'I am here' feel to it. I prefer it for solitary work.

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