One of my brothers-in-law is gay and participated in what I consider to have been a marriage ceremoyny with his husband/partner. It was a religious ceremony--some variety of Lutheranism, I believe.
My feeling on the matter is that marriage is love--or at least, it should be. This is why I think all of these so-called defense of marriage proposals are ridiculous. Legislation like that does not, in my opinion, defend marriage; it defends the legal supremacy of heterosexuality, period.
So what are we saying--that heterosexuals have more of a right for their love to be recognized than homosexuals? To me, that's utter nonsense.
I agree that no religious faith should re required to recognize gay marriage if it doesn't want to; churches/religions are private entities. But I do think that the state should. Frankly, why should the state care what sex the couples it marries are? They're still going to pay taxes and hold down jobs. You can do that whether you're gay or not.